No Free Lunches + S&H

I’m not sure when I first came across the Tweet with a link to the Capezio site, lets say six weeks ago, offering free Capezio ballet shoes. I’m like all sweet, this is either the best deal ever or a total scam. I half expected Visa to call me to ask about the excessive activity on my account. Did I just charge sixteen first class tickets from Chicago to Micronesia? All the while destroying my already questionable credit history.

Get your free shoes quick, this can’t last long.

So with fingers crossed I order. A week or so later a package comes. Revealed that I wasn’t scammed I fail to tear open the bag which seems to be made of some type of space-age plastic impervious to only the sharpest of scissors and knives.  Someone screwed up and sent me two sets of shoes. So let me take a moment to thank whom ever it was that sent me two sets of shoes that don’t quite fit my missized feet. The left one kinda fit, much like my current pair of slippers, they fit, but then again they kinda don’t.  Needless to say, buying any shoes of any kind is a huge pain in my ass.

I’ve only had a few pair of shoes successfully ordered online that has actually fit, my new kick ass black and blue Van’s for one. Nearly every other shoes have had to be returned. Oh well, shipping for the new Capezio’s was like four bucks, a gamble I was willing to take.

Online order success. Dope ass kicks!

Thought I’d try my luck to see if I could score another pair, hoping they might actually fit.  Yet, again what I received wasn’t quite the right size, they are pink, almost a Pepto-Bismol pink. Now with an ever growing pile of ballet shoes I’m left with several decisions. Do I try again, and try my luck with a third order? Do I call it good with what I’ve got now? Do I pack them up and take them to school and see if I can unload them on someone there? Or do I just give up and rock the mismatched slippers? If I were to roll the dice and order another I’ll have spent almost the same amount of money on these free shoes as I would on a new pair that I know would fit.

Can't a brotha catch a break? The pile continues to grow.

Upon closer inspection the first two pairs of shoes that arrived fit my left foot well enough, and the second order fits my right foot well enough, the only problem, they are different colors, white and pink. I’m tired of ballet slippers that almost fit, I’ve put up with them long enough. The only ballet shoes that fit me right are my pointe shoes, I made damn sure those fuckers fit.

Hmmm, maybe I can dye them.

I guess I could dye them, I don’t think I can pull off the different color shoe look. They are slightly roomier than I like, I guess I’ll hold onto the pile of shoes I’ve collected here, I’m sure I might come up with a good idea one of these days. Who knows?